All-Out Ego Smackdown

Wow, what a week.  Started off the weekend with what felt like an All-Out Ego Smackdown.  When I thought for sure, Ego was gonna win this round, I put an all-stop on the action and conducted an unofficial forensic investigation into the event in-question.  Then and only then, could I see what had been the culprit the whole time– my unwillingness to take responsibility for the entire interaction.  That’s when Ego softened its icy grip around my heart and allowed me to melt into my own vulnerability.

I seem to be in, what I hope, are the last throes of this internal struggle called, “Needing to Look Good.” You know the one, right?  The times you’d rather fit in than stand out, the places where you go along to get along, or even let those perfectionist tendencies  play the Dominatrix in your life.

When I look at what drives those weird and wacky behaviors stirred up by Ego, the first thing I do is try not to take them so freakin’ seriously!  After all, that’s just the mind, the Ego, doing it’s very best to keep me from stretching, growing and transforming.  Given what I want to accomplish in life, that smallness simply WILL NOT DO! It’s out of line, out of order and frankly, quite useless.

Sometimes, doing a forensic examination is exactly what’s needed.  Though I sometimes struggle with second-guessing myself, it can be very useful to conduct an informal investigation into those conversations I have with people that somehow, just feel off a notch or two.  What I’ve found is, if they feel that way, my instinct is probably right.

The challenge is not to play the judge, jury, prosecutor and defense attorney, all at the same time! In moments like these, I think what works is to simply be a witness and witness your own precious life with the compassion of a Master.  Always be on the look-out for clues where Ego has left its tell-tale signs.  You know the ones, but just in case, here’s a checklist:

- Righteousness

- Justification

- Judgment

- Victim-I-zing

- Cynicism

- Indignation

- Self-pity

- Relentless mental flogging

Then, take a deep breath and thank your Ego for its attempts to guide you in the only ways it knows how.  After all, it’s always doing the best it can!  Allow your heart to fill with the gratitude for this moment you were resisting all along. The one where you get to recommit to loving you. We are never required to make giant, radical leaps from the ego to the spirit- instead, we can simply allow for the experience, knowing the Ego is there to serve us, not the other way around.  Oftentimes just the simple, gentle recognition is all that’s needed to make the shift into a newer, mightier perspective! So yeah, me and my Ego, we’re getting along better these days. Maybe even learning to be friends…